Courtney Dukelow
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The Grace of Grief

8/8/2015

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Picture

 Yesterday, in the seeing the sun for the first time as the hazy smoke
 cleared, I realized I missed it.  For a while, I used to greet the sun in
 the morning time before I started my day.  It is a daily ritual practiced
by some indigenous cultures.  Slowly, this practice began to fade away and
 become less frequent.  I would devalue this simple gesture to nature with a
 thought along the lines of, “Well, I will greet the sun tomorrow.”
 
The fires and the loss that seem to be present in every direction, shatters
 this unconscious certainty. It shatters the sense that I have all the time
in the world.  That there will be other mornings where I can greet the
 sun.  There will be other times when I can share what is in my heart.
 Opening my heart to this shattering and to this broken world, I feel a
 certain intimacy that comes from recognizing the fragility of my life.
 
  For most of my life, I never really got past the initial shock when
 trauma, hardships and losses came into my life. I was never taught how to
 grieve.  Slowly the ‘gravis’ of my unexperienced grief veiled the deep
 magic, intimacy and sensuality of life.  I searched and searched to reclaim
 this magic in other realms and through experiences which transcendent my
 humanity.   Until I was pulled down into my depths, to finally meet the
 wounds of my humanity.  To finally meet places within me where my grief
 wasn’t fully grieved and I had closed to life.  Where I was afraid to open,
 afraid of being abandoned and betrayed.  Through the alchemy of grief, a
 profound magic for life began to spark from the darkness and restore my
 experience of divinity as my very own human life.
 
 In my experience, we need our grief in front of us, in an intimate way,
 more than ever.   Keeping it below or behind us or under some spiritual
 concept that we should always be in joy and be happy, veils the grace and
 the gifts awaiting in the heart of our grief.  As the fires are raging
 outside and we are in a drought, I believe nature is calling for our tears
 to be returned to the sea.
 
 I invite you to join me in a sacred community space for a grief ritual on
 September 19.  It is $60 for the day.  If you are called to come but are
 not able to pay this amount, please email or contact me.  Registration is
 required.  There are logistics and items that are important to bring as a part
 of the grief gathering.   For more info. visit my website at
 www.courtneydukelow.com.  Feel free to call me at 541-535-2186.
 
 If you are drawn to receive some one-on one support and bodywork, I am
 available at this time.
 
 Please feel free to share this email with anyone you think would be
 interested.
 
 Blessings,
 Courtney
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