 Yesterday, in the seeing the sun for the first time as the hazy smoke cleared, I realized I missed it. For a while, I used to greet the sun in the morning time before I started my day. It is a daily ritual practiced by some indigenous cultures. Slowly, this practice began to fade away and become less frequent. I would devalue this simple gesture to nature with a thought along the lines of, “Well, I will greet the sun tomorrow.” The fires and the loss that seem to be present in every direction, shatters this unconscious certainty. It shatters the sense that I have all the time in the world. That there will be other mornings where I can greet the sun. There will be other times when I can share what is in my heart. Opening my heart to this shattering and to this broken world, I feel a certain intimacy that comes from recognizing the fragility of my life. For most of my life, I never really got past the initial shock when trauma, hardships and losses came into my life. I was never taught how to grieve. Slowly the ‘gravis’ of my unexperienced grief veiled the deep magic, intimacy and sensuality of life. I searched and searched to reclaim this magic in other realms and through experiences which transcendent my humanity. Until I was pulled down into my depths, to finally meet the wounds of my humanity. To finally meet places within me where my grief wasn’t fully grieved and I had closed to life. Where I was afraid to open, afraid of being abandoned and betrayed. Through the alchemy of grief, a profound magic for life began to spark from the darkness and restore my experience of divinity as my very own human life. In my experience, we need our grief in front of us, in an intimate way, more than ever. Keeping it below or behind us or under some spiritual concept that we should always be in joy and be happy, veils the grace and the gifts awaiting in the heart of our grief. As the fires are raging outside and we are in a drought, I believe nature is calling for our tears to be returned to the sea. I invite you to join me in a sacred community space for a grief ritual on September 19. It is $60 for the day. If you are called to come but are not able to pay this amount, please email or contact me. Registration is required. There are logistics and items that are important to bring as a part of the grief gathering. For more info. visit my website at www.courtneydukelow.com. Feel free to call me at 541-535-2186. If you are drawn to receive some one-on one support and bodywork, I am available at this time. Please feel free to share this email with anyone you think would be interested. Blessings, Courtney |
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