Courtney Dukelow
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A Journey to the heart

9/29/2014

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A few nights ago, I was sharing a moment of tears and loss with a friend who after many years, will be leaving Ashland.    We were sharing how much courage it takes to truly, authentically love and let ourselves intimately attach to each other and to life.  

It takes courage to let people and life into our hearts.   In my experience, when I open myself to love, I open myself to loss.  In our culture, we seem to have some deep seated conditioning to view loss as failure.  We try to hurry to quickly back into gain.   What I have noticed within myself and with others, is that in times of change or loss, when it isn't fully honored and we don't fully grieve our losses, then part of us sanctions off or detaches from Life.   Part of us may close and become afraid to open.  Afraid of being hurt.   Afraid of rejection, betrayal or abandonment.   

When my former partner and I separated,  I was so deeply humbled and thought that I was doing something wrong because loss and grief would continue to show up for years and still continues to show up.  At one point, after lots of personal work and healing sessions, I had to stop analyzing it, doing inner dialogues and gestalts around it and let it find a home in my heart.   In this, I realize life can rather simple in the beauty ways of the heart.  When I find a home for loss in my heart, I discover a deeper Love as my heart stretches and stretches wide to include everything:  losses and gains, joy and sorrow, life and death.  

Kahil Gibran speaks of this so intimately in his poem on Love, "if in your fear, you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure, Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's thressing-floor, Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears."    

 In these moments when I rest in authentic vulnerability, I step off the see saw of the unconscious mechanism of mind..of superiority or inferiority..not propped up above life or on a ladder of attainment.   One where I rest within the Greater Soul of Life and our one human family.   

 I slowly begin to recognize that which I love in my friends and family in Peru.  A life where I find my place amongst the intricate weave of Nature.  A life in which Nature's way begins to birth Herself through me.  I feel and catch a glimpse of the Living laws of Nature, of 'ayni'--the unconditional sacred reciprocity with life.  It is single and most important principle that guides the lives of Andean people.  My mind thought I knew 'ayni'.  After 6 years of intimate relations and earnest pilgrimages to Peru, I believe I am just now beginning to have a sense of the 'ayni', this sacred and right relationship with life.   So, I find myself inexplicably drawn again to deepen in these wisdom ways of the Heart.  I invite you to join me on a sacred journey to Peru and Bolivia in March.  
http://www.courtneydukelow.com/peru-trip.html

****************
FREE MONTHLY TELECONFERENCE 
Wendesday, October 1 at 6:00pm 
http://www.courtneydukelow.com/free-monthly-teleconference.html

**************
OCTOBER SESSION SPECIAL 
3 sessions series for $200.  5 session series for $330.   

Many blessings, 
Courtney
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