Courtney Dukelow
Ever since I was a child, I was always searching and longing for magic. One of my favorite things to do on vacation with my family in the Appalachian mountains of North Carolina was to go ruby hunting. I could sit for hours sifting through the sand, silt and water, in search of hidden gems and rubies.
Some time after one of our family vacations, my mom came into my room and said, “You have been in here all day. What are you doing?”
Still madly searching in every hidden place in my room,
I replied, “I am searching for my rubies and stones.”
She replied, “I think I threw them away.”
In essence, this speaks to my healing and spiritual journey: A searching for the hidden and cast-away gem. To others, what often appears valueless, contains infinite value to me. Often, what others or our culture tells us is valuable, contains little value to me. It is a journey that I have come to realize roots far beyond my personal life and into an ancient cultural wisdom that we have forgotten.
I have travelled the world searching for this magical wisdom through many different names: healing, awakening, self-realization and transformation. I spent 15 years immersing myself in Andean mystical traditions and intimately getting to know many people in the Q’ero nation of Peru. For those years of yearly visits, it felt like a great homecoming. It was a world that made sense. Some of their healing work involves working with simple yet magical filled stones found in nature and throughout sacred sites (not polished or’ pretty’ store bought gems). Their healing involved accessing the wisdom of their cultural ancestors through earth-based ceremonies and initiations. Yet, ultimately, our cultures are very different, Western culture has different cultural ancestors and has roots in different ‘original instructions’ as Native Americans call it. For many, the virus of colonialism—of our modern-day Western cultures need for constant expansion--can be hard to resist. Then the true, simple and magical wisdom becomes its imitation. Likewise, the magical wisdom of other cultures becomes our imitation when we try to assimilate it as our own.
I always knew that true healing in life is about resorting a magic that is missing from our modern day Western world. Searching for this, I have also been taken down some bright, glittery and idealistic paths filled with huge transformations—of transforming the old with the new, Yet, a lifelong longing would reveal itself when the sense of expansiveness began to fade.
Professionally, I have received over 3000 hours in training and certification in a wide range of healing modalities. I have also offered healing sessions to thousands of people. I am a licensed massage therapist in New Mexico and Oregon. I currently reside in Rodeo, New Mexico, in the Chiricahua Mountains, the original lands of the Apache. I have received certification in a wide range of healing modalities including swedish massage, deep tissue, craniosacral, therapy, trigger point therapy, somatic trauma-informed bodywork, grief therapy and ritual healing, expressive arts therapy, gestalt therapy and shadow work, I am an Advanced Certified Trauma Practioner (ACTP) with the National Institute for trauma and loss in children, adolescents, teens and adults.
I have learned and unlearned many things about healing. As I shared around the essence of my healing journey:. that which we may want to easily throw away or desire to be transformed into something brighter or better, may contain a priceless secret gem—something simply unfathomable. Healing requires the deepest sense of attunement and respect for the wisdom of the unconscious and the mystery of the depths.
Many healing paths and modalities focus solely on individual healing. Many in need of healing shame themselves when they are suffering, depressed, stuck, not ‘in balance’ or not making progress. How do we find and have personal balance and healing in a world that is completely out of balance? A world that destroys the mystery and magic of nature at alarming rates. A world that if we don’t keep up with its busy and often unsustainable pace, we may be run over by the machine of progress. We live in a weeping world where we are told to find fulfillment through acquiring more and more: more knowledge (even spiritual and healing), more status, more success, greater and faster technology, more money and things. Perhaps what we call our personal wounds and struggles are not what they seem. And perhaps it can reveal something quite astonishing when our depths are approached with a lot less hubris and a lot more respect. In the timeless words of Rumi, “The wound is the place where the light enters you.”
a
Some time after one of our family vacations, my mom came into my room and said, “You have been in here all day. What are you doing?”
Still madly searching in every hidden place in my room,
I replied, “I am searching for my rubies and stones.”
She replied, “I think I threw them away.”
In essence, this speaks to my healing and spiritual journey: A searching for the hidden and cast-away gem. To others, what often appears valueless, contains infinite value to me. Often, what others or our culture tells us is valuable, contains little value to me. It is a journey that I have come to realize roots far beyond my personal life and into an ancient cultural wisdom that we have forgotten.
I have travelled the world searching for this magical wisdom through many different names: healing, awakening, self-realization and transformation. I spent 15 years immersing myself in Andean mystical traditions and intimately getting to know many people in the Q’ero nation of Peru. For those years of yearly visits, it felt like a great homecoming. It was a world that made sense. Some of their healing work involves working with simple yet magical filled stones found in nature and throughout sacred sites (not polished or’ pretty’ store bought gems). Their healing involved accessing the wisdom of their cultural ancestors through earth-based ceremonies and initiations. Yet, ultimately, our cultures are very different, Western culture has different cultural ancestors and has roots in different ‘original instructions’ as Native Americans call it. For many, the virus of colonialism—of our modern-day Western cultures need for constant expansion--can be hard to resist. Then the true, simple and magical wisdom becomes its imitation. Likewise, the magical wisdom of other cultures becomes our imitation when we try to assimilate it as our own.
I always knew that true healing in life is about resorting a magic that is missing from our modern day Western world. Searching for this, I have also been taken down some bright, glittery and idealistic paths filled with huge transformations—of transforming the old with the new, Yet, a lifelong longing would reveal itself when the sense of expansiveness began to fade.
Professionally, I have received over 3000 hours in training and certification in a wide range of healing modalities. I have also offered healing sessions to thousands of people. I am a licensed massage therapist in New Mexico and Oregon. I currently reside in Rodeo, New Mexico, in the Chiricahua Mountains, the original lands of the Apache. I have received certification in a wide range of healing modalities including swedish massage, deep tissue, craniosacral, therapy, trigger point therapy, somatic trauma-informed bodywork, grief therapy and ritual healing, expressive arts therapy, gestalt therapy and shadow work, I am an Advanced Certified Trauma Practioner (ACTP) with the National Institute for trauma and loss in children, adolescents, teens and adults.
I have learned and unlearned many things about healing. As I shared around the essence of my healing journey:. that which we may want to easily throw away or desire to be transformed into something brighter or better, may contain a priceless secret gem—something simply unfathomable. Healing requires the deepest sense of attunement and respect for the wisdom of the unconscious and the mystery of the depths.
Many healing paths and modalities focus solely on individual healing. Many in need of healing shame themselves when they are suffering, depressed, stuck, not ‘in balance’ or not making progress. How do we find and have personal balance and healing in a world that is completely out of balance? A world that destroys the mystery and magic of nature at alarming rates. A world that if we don’t keep up with its busy and often unsustainable pace, we may be run over by the machine of progress. We live in a weeping world where we are told to find fulfillment through acquiring more and more: more knowledge (even spiritual and healing), more status, more success, greater and faster technology, more money and things. Perhaps what we call our personal wounds and struggles are not what they seem. And perhaps it can reveal something quite astonishing when our depths are approached with a lot less hubris and a lot more respect. In the timeless words of Rumi, “The wound is the place where the light enters you.”
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